1. I have a roommate who didn't pay the internet bill, so we no longer have webbies at our house.
2. Spiders have been few and far between at our house.
That being said! Here's a much needed update!
Well about 11 days ago on the morning before we (Rodeo Ruby Love) left for tour, I was about to hop into the shower. It had been a long time since I had seen a spider in the bathroom, so no longer were they on my mind. I wasn't even naked yet, but I was about to get the water running. I stepped towards the bathtub and after I did so I looked down. BIG SPIDER RIGHT BY MY TOE. I screamed for a while, gaining Zack's attention, and sprinted upstairs to get my camera. I ran down as fast as I could and snapped a picture of it. Luckily this gross pile of crap didn't move in that time. I needed something to kill it with because, oh, I forgot to mention I was BARE FOOTED. I grabbed a box of tissues and squished that fart knocker into the fake tile floor. What a scare. Here he is pre-death.
Totally gross right? Well even if you disagree I don't need your approval because that spider is just straight up creepy.
So that was a while ago. I got over it. I moved on. I saw some totally nasty ass spiders on tour, but luckily most of them were outside our van or outside of the houses we were napping in. Hey, if you had to chill with 10 spiders for an hour would you do it? Uh, what? How about...no? Moving right along.
So today. Guys, today. Kyle lurking in the living room. I enter the kitchen. Woah bro, two dead spiders right by the trash can! Totally nasty! I picked up a piece of paper to scoop up their dead bodies and throw them away and OH MY GOSH ONE OF THEM MOVED. It almost gave me a heart attack. WHY would it curl up in a ball if it was still alive. Is that how spiders sleep? How do I not know this? I feel like spiders just close their eyes to sleep and don't curl up their legs. Are they getting cuddly? Spiders don't cuddle. This is stupid, why am I still talking about this? Oh yeah, because if a spider is curled up into a ball it should probably be dead. Anyways, I got totally freaked out and Kyle and Zack just were having a hay day with my fear and told me to move the trash can onto it to kill it! I knew this wouldn't work, I told them this wouldn't work, but they kept telling me to do it, so I did it. I picked up the trash can really quickly and slammed it onto the spider and then vibrated it around on top of it for good measure. Oh look, here's the spider running out from the trash can just like I said! I had to step on it and then it got stuck to the bottom of my shoe. I wanted to vomit. I hate my friends.
See that dead spider next to the living spider? That's what the living spider looked like 10 seconds prior to this picture. SPIDER. YOU WERE CHEATING.
Daily Spider Count: 1
Weekly Spider Count: 1
Overall Feeling: They're back.
4 comments:
Stephen, you play in Away With Vega, your opinion automatically doesn't matter
that post almost makes up for the 3+ weeks w/o spidercount
thank you
i definitely just laughed at you the entire time. you were almost in tears. i almost pissed myself from laughter.
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