I traveled with my roommate to see his band play a show in Wabash, IN. It was a great time, and I got to see some old friends. What I didn't realize was that I was also going to see some old enemies too. After his band played, Michael and I walked to a nearby gas station. On the walk I had a turd that was just dying to go for a swim, and you already know where I was headed as soon as I walked in the Speedway. I was minding my own business and shedding some excess weight when here comes a spider, dangling from it's web next to the wall.
I instantly clenched up and went over a few options in my head.
Option 1: I ignore the fact that I'm pooping, get up and get a paper towel, and squish it.
Option 2: I ball up some toilet paper (gas station toilet paper is so thin it's basically non-existent) and squish it, with a good chance that I'm going to feel it being squished.
Option 3: I take off a shoe and slam it.
Option 4: I wait until I'm done and take care of it then.
Option 4 was so out of the question that it left my mind as quickly as it entered, and I was stuck with three options. I didn't want to get messy, so option 1 disappeared. I also didn't want to feel a spider being crushed because that will cause me to vomit, and then more of a mess will be caused than in option 1. Option 3 really had no downside besides me not wanting to get athlete's foot from the gas station bathroom floor, so I took of my shoe and beat that spider up like we were in high school and he just dissed my girlfriend.
Later that night after the show we returned home. Harmon Street has been a tranquil place lately, and I've enjoyed the carefree atmosphere that has been created by a spider free life. My orange juice tastes sweeter, my showers feel warmer, and I wake up feeling more rejuvenated than ever before. Now I feel like my summer break is over, and school is back in session. I walked into the bathroom to wash my hands and get my number 1 on. After I flushed our broken toilet I turned to face the sink and lo and behold a medium sized clear spider was running right next to it. I panicked and didn't move for a few seconds. I started looking at my weapon options: soap bottles, shaving cream cans, toothbrushes, nothing with a hard, flat surface. Finally I landed on a roll of toilet paper which, ideally, isn't my number one choice, but I wasn't left with many options. My arm looked like a character from season 1 of Home Movies, and it didn't feel much better. I slowly moved towards the quarter-sized beast and then dropped the roll of TP on it like a ton of bricks. No one was in the house, so a battle cry may or may not have been yelled. I wasn't about to risk taking a picture of it while it was alive, so here it is after I had my way with it.
If today was a hint of the days ahead, bring on winter again.
Daily Spider Count: 2
Weekly Spider Count: 2
Overall Feeling: In the mean time, skip spring time
